Famous Golf Quotes
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. - A.A. Milne
Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable. - A.P. Herbert, Misleading Cases, 1935
Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort. - Abba Eban
Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses. - Adlai Stevenson
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? - Al Boliska
My best score ever was 103, but I’ve only been playing 15 years. - Alex Karris
Every rock’n’roll band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf now. - Alice Cooper, 47.
Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance. - Alistair Cooke
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game: it’s called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win. - Arnold Palmer
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. - Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well. - Art Rosenbaum
Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. - Attributed to both Miller Barber and Lee Trevino
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. - Author Unknown
A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible. - Author Unknown
Born to golf. Forced to work. - Author Unknown
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it’s called the PGA Tour. - Author Unknown
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. - Author Unknown
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. - Author Unknown
Golf is life. If you can’t take golf, you can’t take life. - Author Unknown
Gone golfin’... be back dark thirty. - Author Unknown
If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle. - Author Unknown
I’ve spent most of my life golfing - the rest I’ve just wasted. - Author Unknown
May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters. - Author Unknown
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off. - Author Unknown
The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil. - Author Unknown
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. - Author Unknown
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Author Unknown
The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. - Author Unknown
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don’t you? - Ben Hogan
I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right. - Ben Crenshaw
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
I play with friends, but we don’t play friendly games. - Ben Hogan
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. - Ben Hogan
Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease. - Bertie Forbes
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don’t put into it. - Bob Allen
What’s nice about our tour is you can’t remember your bad shots. - Bob Bruce, about the senior tour
Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. - Bob Hope
Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money. - Bob Hope
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass. - Bob Hope
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world. - Bob Hope
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. - Bob Hope
Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink. - Bob Hope
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150. - Bob Hope
I have a beautiful short game. Unfortunately, it’s off the tee. - Bob Hope
I like to play in the low 70s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar! - Bob Hope
I tell jokes to pay my green fees. - Bob Hope
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters. - Bob Hope
If he (President Eisenhower) slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about. - Bob Hope
If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him. - Bob Hope
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. - Bob Hope
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. - Bob Hope
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. - Bob Hope
Isn’t it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun? - Bob Hope
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division. - Bob Hope
It’s not hard to find [President] Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded. - Bob Hope
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ’Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. - Bob Hope
My golf-loving friend Bob Hope asked me what my handicap was, so I told him - the Congress. - Bob Hope
My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he’s lost it. The string came off! - Bob Hope
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag. - Bob Hope
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass. - Bob Hope
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes. - Bob Hope
The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark? - Bob Hope
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls. - Bob Hope
Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded. - Bob Hope
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot. - Bob Hope
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. - Bob Hope
Whenever I play with him (President Ford), I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer. - Bob Hope
You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that. - Bob Hope
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there. - Bob Hope, about his golfing
Most golfers prepare for disaster. A good golfer prepares for success. - Bob Toski
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears. - Bobby Jones
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears. - Bobby Jones
I’d play every day if I could. It’s cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart. - Brent Musburger
There are no points for style when it comes to putting. It’s getting the ball in the cup that counts. - Brian Swarbrick
I’ll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine. - Bruce Lansky
Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. - Bruce Lansky
It’s easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister’s fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. - Bruce McCall
No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can’t even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul. - Bruce McCall, "The Case Against Golf," Esquire
Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain’t no game. - Burt Shotten
The only shots you can be sure of are those you’ve had already. - Byron Nelson
A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o’clock and make it go toward 12 o’clock. But make sure you’re in the same time zone. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
Trevino is in a league by himself. We don’t even count him. We figure when you come in second, you’re a winner. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. - Chi Chi Rodriguez, on his Puerto Rican accent
My handicap? Woods and irons. - Chris Codiroli
The worst club in my bag is my brain. - Chris Perry
Indeed, the highest pleasure of golf may be that on the fairways and far from all the pressures of commerce and rationality, we can feel immortal for a few hours. - Colman McCarthy
Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well. - Craig Stadler
Always keep in mind that if God didn’t want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn’t come three to a sleeve. - Dan Jenkins
In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It’s a big difference. - Dan Quayle
Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at. - Dave Hill
My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies- one to walk the left rough, one for the right, and one for the middle. And the one in the middle doesn’t have much to do. - Dave Hill
The golf swing is like sex. You can’t be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing. - Dave Hill
Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes. - Dave Marr
The number one thing about trouble is...don’t get into more. - Dave Stockton
I don’t like watching golf on TV. I can’t stand whispering. - David Brenner
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. - Dean Martin
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
Everybody has two swings-a beautiful practice swing and the choked-up one with with which they hit the ball. So it wouldn’t do either of us a damned bit of good to look at your practice swing. - Ed Furgol
All I’ve got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse. - Eric Linklater, Poet’s Pub, 1929
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway
Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt. - Fletcher Knebel
If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen- you will hear an alibi. - Fred Beck
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. - G.K. Chesterton
They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. It’s more complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson
The harder you work, the luckier you get." - Gary Player
Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit? - George Archer
One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good. - George Archer
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie. - George Deukmejian
The right way to play golf is to go up and hit the bloody thing. - George Duncan
I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald Ford
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose. - Gerald Ford
Even God has to practice his putting. - Golf Saying
Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk. - Grantland Rice
Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent’s. - Grantland Rice
Golf is twenty percent mechanics and technique. The other eighty percent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness, and conversation. - Grantland Rice
You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life. - Grantland Rice
Happiness is a long walk with a putter. - Greg Norman
I played like shit. - Greg Norman after the Masters.
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. - H.G. Wells, Bealby, 1915
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina. - H.L. Mencken
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. - Hank Aaron, 1971
Golf is not just an exercise; it’s an adventure, a romance... a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined. - Harold Segall
I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them. - Harry Tofcano
I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them. - Harry Toscano
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon
Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive. - Harvey Penick
Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard’s excellent Tennis for Beginners. - Henry Beard, Golfing, 1985
If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using "an outside agency" and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf. - Henry Longhurst
Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists. - Heywood Hale Broun
Yeah, after each of my downhill putts. - Homero Blancas, asked if he had any uphill putts
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey
His driving is unbelievable. I don’t go that far on my holidays. - Ian Baker-Finch, on John Daly
It’s so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg. - J.C. Snead, on his putting
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf. - Jack Benny
The average golfer doesn’t play golf. He attacks it. - Jack Burke
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. - Jack Nicklaus, on why he tees his ball high.
Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle. - Jackie Gleason
Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, "Will you look at that golf path? Pure pea gravel." - Jeff Cesario
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop
Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder. - Jim Bishop
I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it. - Jim Dent
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that. - Jim Murray
Golf is not a game, it’s bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins. - Jim Murray
Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it’s unfair. It’s a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises.... It’s a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher. - Jim Murray
Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. A dinner without wine. - Jim Murray
If your caddie coaches you on the tee, ’Hit it down the left side with a little draw,’ ignore him. All you do on the tee is try not to hit the caddie. - Jim Murray
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. - Jimmy DeMaret
Golf is based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par three? - Jimmy Demaret
You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them. - Jimmy Demaret
I play in the low 80s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play. - Joe E. Lewis
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. - John Updike
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things. - John Updike
You can’t lose an old golf ball. - John Willis
Golf is 90 percent inspiration and 10 percent perspiration. - Johnny Miller
In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. - Ken Harrelson
"Victory is everything. You can spend the money, but you can never spend the memories. - Ken Venturi
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward. - Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum
If I can hit a curveball, why can’t I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? - Larry Nelson
Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!" - Lee Trevino
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course. - Lee Trevino
I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction. - Lee Trevino
I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro. - Lee Trevino
I wish I was playing in the [1985] Ryder Cup team. How could they beat me? I’ve been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice. - Lee Trevino
If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer. - Lee Trevino
If it wasn’t for golf, I don’t know what I’d be doing. If my IQ had been two points lower, I’d have been a plant somewhere. - Lee Trevino
If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. - Lee Trevino
I’m a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn’t help me. They’d have to put me in prison, and then I’d talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play. - Lee Trevino
It’s the most fun I’ve had with my clothes on. - Lee Trevino
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch. - Lee trevino
My wife doesn’t care what I do when I’m away. As long as I don’t enjoy myself. - Lee Trevino
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money. - Lee Trevino
Show me a golfer who doesn’t have a mean streak, and I’ll show you a weak competitor. - Lee Trevino
The older I get, the better I used to be. - Lee Trevino
There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray. - Lee Trevino
There is no such thing as a natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. - Lee Trevino
To me, the [British] Open is the tournament I would come to if I had to leave a month before and swim over. - Lee Trevino
When I’m on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, ’caus I know even God can’t hit a one iron. - Lee Trevino
You don’t know what pressure is until you’ve played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket. - Lee Trevino
You make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. - Lee Trevino
One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water. - Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament
That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle. - Lloyd Mangrum, about Bobby Locke
Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it. Then you hit it again. - Lon Hinkle
A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. - Mac O’Grady
When I putt, my emotions collide like tectonic plates. It’s left my memory circuits full of scars that won’t heal. - Mac O’Grady
One minute you’re bleeding. The next minute you’re hemorrhaging. The next minute you’re painting the Mona Lisa. - Mac O’Grady, describing a typical round of golf
Golf is good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
It’s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one. - Martha Beckman
Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything. - Michael Bamberger
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. - Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. - Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975
If you want to take long walks, take long walks. If you want to hit things with sticks, hit things with sticks. But there’s no excuse for combining the two and putting the results on TV. Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - National Lampoon, 1979
John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn’t he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him. - Nick Faldo, on John Daly
It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. - Nubar Gulbenkian, 1972
A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do. - Osbert Sitwell
He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf. - P.G. Wodehouse
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows. - P.G. Wodehouse
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. - P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O’Rourke
It’s nice to have the opportunity to play for so much money, but it’s nicer to win it. - Patty Sheenan
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
Golf is a game in which you yell ’fore’, shoot six and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out-of-doors. - Paul O’Neil
If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf. - Percey Boomer
One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens. - Pete Alfano
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye
There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn’t that set your blood racing? - Peter Andrews
One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something. - Peter Jacobsen
Golf isn’t like other sports where you can take a player out if he’s having a bad day. You have to play the whole game. - Phil Blackmar
Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend’s mother about her heart condition? - Phil Silvers
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out. - Princess Anne of Great Britain
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken. - Raymond Floyd
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. - Rick Reilly, "Master Strokes," Sports Illustrated
There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the most bitter. - Robert Browning
The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don’t really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did. - Robert Browning, A History of Golf
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it. - Robin Williams, 1986
When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain’t shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain’t da man. - Ron Green, Charlotte Observer
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. - Sam Snead
Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot. - Sam Snead
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead
You’ve just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it. - Sam Snead
But you don’t have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do. - Sam Snead, to Ted Williams, arguing which was more difficult, to hit a moving baseball or a stationary golf ball
I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me. - Seve Ballesteros
A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees. - Stephen Baker
You can’t call it a sport. You don’t run, jump, you don’t shoot, you don’t pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don’t match. - Steve Sax
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it. - Ted Ray, Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
A lot of guys who have have never choked, have never been in the position to do so. - Tom Watson
The person I fear most in the last two rounds is myself. - Tom Watson
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. - Tommy Armour
Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick them up. - Tommy Bolt
Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer. - Tommy Bolt
The mind messes up more shots than the body. - Tommy Bolt
They throw their clubs backwards, and that’s wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it. - Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players
Golf is a sport in which the ball lies poorly but the player well" - Unknown
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it’s wrong but you can’t keep away from her. - Val Doonican
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. - Will Rogers
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture. - Winston Churchill
Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose. - Woodrow Wilson
